January 16

Written by neilencio

Back when I was in third grade, every single one of my friends/playmates had his own Batman: The Animated Series action figure. I wanted one as well but my father refused to buy me any toy, purely out of principle.

If you want an expensive toy, he would say, you have to be hardworking or smart enough to come up with money for it on your own.

So I robbed a bank.

Wait, no. What I actually did was save a couple of week’s worth of my lunch money. It wasn’t long before I was able to pony up the 300 pesos needed to buy my own Batman figure.

Convincing one of my relatives to accompany me to the toy store was simple. The hard part was choosing which actual Batman figure to buy. If it were up to me, I would have bought them all but 300 pesos would only net me one figure, considering that the toys were priced around 200-300 pesos.

I’ve already had my eye on a couple of figures, which I saw from my friends: Turbojet Batman and Infrared Batman. The two figures were appealing to me because they both came with backpack accessories and can shoot projectiles (jetpacks and launching projectiles being two of the many things that are inherently appealing to men, regardless of age.)

In the end, I chose a different figure:

The Bruce Wayne action figure, with removable bat armor, cape, and cowl.

My friends thought the figure was boring. Their Batmen had the ability to shoot rockets, launch bat discs, and ride a glider. I believe one of them even had a Batman that can throw grappling hooks and parachute.

“What does it do?” they would ask, and I would show that my Batman has the awesome ability to turn into a civilian.

They found it lame, of course. To them, Batman was all about fighting crime as THE Batman. If a Batman toy had any special ability, it should be something that is flashy and useful in combat. A Bruce Wayne toy that had the ability to turn into Batman is silly, because the other toys were already Bruce Wayne dressed as Batman by default.

I didn’t mind the ridicule that my toy got, I loved it and played the H-word out of it. It was exactly what I wanted; my Batman toy had something that all the other flashy Batman figures didn’t have: a choice.

Because Turbojet Batman, Infrared Batman, Batglider Batman, and even Batcycle goddamn Batman with his stupid Bat-themed motorcycle – they’re going to be Batman all the time. That’s all they’re meant to do – fight crime dressed like a giant flying mammal. My Batman toy, on the other hand, has the ability to take a break and unwind. He can stop being Batman for a while, shove the Bat costume inside the packaging and just parade around as Bruce Wayne, going “I’ll fight you tomorrow, crime. It’s my day off.”